confession number fourrr ;

i went to a family counselor today . we talked about things . it was really nice to have someone to talk to that actually listened . everyone thinks im lieing about the things im actually telling the truth about , just because i can not be serious about anything , or even keep straight faces without a smile doesnt mean im constantly lieing . 

today was our second day of track tryouts and nesi just decided to do his cuts also .  he called people up to do the 200 & 400 & 800 , but nobody but 1 or 2 people went up to the line to run them and boy was he mad . in a sense it was kind of funny but at the same time i felt bad . my coach is one of the best and he is like a father to us . i made the track team once again and i can not wait to pole-vault again . i cant wait to see what are team looks like tomorrow .

for some reason the littlest things get to me the worst . every time someone says something even something so small such as "your shoes are ugly" it hits me really hard . try someone telling you basically there is no reason for being together and were not going to get anywhere ? that hurts more than ever and that's exactly what my so called "love of my life" said to me last night . i try to pretend that we are so perfect when in reality were just like a sea saw , we go back and forth , every single day , nothing really is ever perfect between us , and i truly don't know what to do about it , seems like there isn't anything left to do ...