reach for the sky

right now , I'm getting ready to go to the doctors , my ribs are hurting really badly , they've been hurting all day long . i cant stop replaying my accident over and over again in my head . im so sad , this sucks so bad . travis and i talked last night , a lot and im really glad . until it got to the point where we got in a fight but ill admit it was my fault . im just tired of him and the way hes acting , and i took all my anger out on him too . he was just being too nice and i couldn't take it anymore because of everything that happened recently with us . i want things to change and really fast . im tired of talking to him , i hate it with everything . he told me he hates me and doesn't like me at all anymore , but my heart wont believe that . i hate not being together and he doesn't want to even understand that i love him more then anything . but anyway , things have begun to get crazier day by day . im very mad about my car and i think i might be hurt from my accident . my ribs are unbearably aching , my neck and back hurt also . Carl gave me a back massage today and it felt great , i need to get a massage therapist so i can have them done all the time . i think i might get my nails done again tomorrow but im not sure if i want to , its just a bad habit . Ive started changing things in my life again , im throwing out all the things that no longer matter and the things that are no longer important to me . people come and go , im learning lately who is worth keeping around and that's only like five people . my family has been worthless and i could careless of them . the only one i really need now is my mom , im so thankful for how understanding she has been lately , well i don't want to be late for my appointment , bye for now !